Sabrina (Blog Guest Post)

BullyingPeople may think I’m different, sound funny, act a little strange, but to my friends and family I am just myself. I tend to view the world as an open book you may know what to expect, but then again you might come across a surprise here or there. I embrace the individual that I am, but it wasn’t easy to accept at first. I was bullied, beat up and harassed growing up; reason being that I was attracted to the same gender. I will share with you the torment I endured being who I was. I am not ashamed or scared anymore and hopefully those who are reading this will not be scared as well.

I was raised in a Christian household my parents were your regular parents very loving, and caring to me and my younger brother. My Mother was your typical housewife and my Dad worked for the largest junk car removal Fayetteville NC had to offer.

Education was important and we always had to have good grades. It was stressful, but my brother and I managed. It was my junior year in high where I started being more expressive with how I dressed, and what music I listened too. My friends never said anything to me about it they just accepted this new me. I started to have many different feelings that was hard to talk about with my friends, and I didn’t want them to think I was weird or crazy. So, I just kept it all to myself.

Sabrina was my best friend she understood me like no other friend I had. We both cared deeply for one another just how BFF’S are supposed to. That caring turned to love for me and the more Sabrina and I spent time together that love grew more and more. I kept my feelings to myself and never told anyone not even my parents. My feelings about the same gender was strong and it wasn’t a phase I was going through. I started to realize that I was attracted to other women and I have fallen in love with my best friend. I couldn’t keep this in any longer so I decided to tell Sabrina how I felt.

Sabrina and I met one day after school and I just poured my heart out to her about everything. My feelings for her and my feelings about the same gender, I went on and on. It was a relief to get all of that off my chest. Until Sabrina looked at me and slapped me across my face very hard to point my nose was bleeding. She screamed at me and said, “I’m not gay” and that I better not come around her anymore. My heart my crushed and now everyone in school would know about my attraction to the same gender. Sabrina’s parents called my house and spoke with my parents about what I had shared with Sabrina. My parents were disappointed of course, but we had a long discussion of what I was and how I felt about women.

Talking openly to my parents about this was relieving, and I felt somewhat better about the situation. Back at school Sabrina was miss gossiper and spread it all around the school. People started to spit on me, bully me, and I was actually ganged up on by a group of girls that Sabrina knew. The end of my junior year in high school was torture. My parents wanted to press charges, but the town we lived in was not the friendliest of places. All the bullying and torture went unnoticed.

We moved that summer and I was OK with that, I knew I was going to start fresh and new. I embraced my new identity and I was comfortable to share with those I became friends with. I learned that sometimes you have to go through the worst in life to find the best in life. I have been through the worst and I am still enjoying every bit of my time alive.

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